Have you found your passion yet? And I'm not talking about what's happening in the bedroom, though that passion can be elusive too. I mean your passion for life! The thing the whole self-improvement industry seems to talk about.
You've probably heard quotes like: "Live with Passion" (Tony Robbins) or "Nothing is as important as passion. No matter what you want to do with your life, be passionate." (Jon Bon Jovi) or "Passion is Energy" (Oprah Winfrey) or "It's better to get lost in the passion than to lose the passion" (Soren Kierkegaard).
If you're anything like me, all these quotes sound nice, but the only passion you do know is that from your bedroom (if at all).
So, what is passion anyway? According to Psychology Today "Our passion is what we want to do naturally, not what sounds good or what others want us to do. Passion is the fuel that drives us to get out of bed in the morning; it moves us toward our goals." Again, if you are anything like me, you might not know exactly what YOU want to do naturally that isn't dictated or at least influenced by what OTHERS want you to do. If that sounds like you, you might be a people pleaser. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a people pleaser as "a person who has an emotional need to please others often at the expense of his or her own needs or desires".
If we constantly focus on what other people want us to do and what they think of us, it can be difficult to engage with "what we want to do naturally". We have become so passionate about helping others that we are forgetting to help ourselves. There is nothing wrong with wanting to help others. The problem occurs when we forget our own needs as a result and when we expect the other person to make us somehow feel fulfilled in return for helping them.
Do you remember my questions from part 1:
- you never have time for what you want or even think about what you may want because of all the worldly s*** you have to take care of
- you're working your tail off and feel taken advantage of - again and again
These are some signs you might be a people pleaser. So, in order to truly find our own passion, we'll have to tackle that people pleasing curse.
Check out Part 1 of Why is passion so elusive.
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