Have you ever wondered if you might be a people pleaser? No shame here; many of us have a little bit of people-pleaser in us. But if you're constantly bending over backwards to make everyone around you happy, it's time to take a closer look. So, grab a cup of coffee and let's have a heart-to-heart chat about the signs that you might be a people pleaser.
1. You Say "Yes" to Everything
Remember that time you agreed to dog-sit, bake cupcakes for the school fundraiser, and help your friend move all in the same weekend? Yeah, that's classic people-pleasing behaviour. If you find yourself reflexively saying "yes" to every request, it's a sign you're prioritising others' needs over your own well-being.
2. You're Terrified of Conflict
If the mere thought of confrontation makes you break out in a cold sweat, you might be a people pleaser. Avoiding conflicts at all costs, even when it means swallowing your own needs and feelings, is a big red flag. Life isn't a sitcom where everything gets neatly resolved in 30 minutes. Sometimes, you've got to face the music.
3. Apologies Are Your Second Language
"I'm sorry" isn't just a polite courtesy for you; it's practically a mantra. Apologising for everything, even when it's not your fault (like when someone bumps into you), suggests you're overly concerned with being perceived as agreeable and non-threatening. Say it with me now: "It's not always my fault."
4. You Overanalyse Social Interactions
Ever find yourself losing sleep replaying social interactions in your mind, worrying if you said or did something wrong? This overanalysing can be exhausting. People pleasers often fret about every conversation, fearing they've somehow offended or upset someone.
5. Your Schedule is a Jigsaw Puzzle of Other People’s Appointments
Your calendar looks like a Tetris game that's on the verge of a "Game Over" screen. If your schedule is filled with commitments to other people, with little to no time for yourself, it's a clear sign. Everyone needs a little "me time."
6. You Lack Boundaries
Boundary setting is like having a "Do Not Disturb" sign for your life. If you find yourself letting others walk all over your personal time, space, or feelings, it's time to start drawing those lines. Trust me, it's liberating.
7. You Seek Approval Like It's Going Out of Style
Needing constant affirmation and approval from others is exhausting. If you're always fishing for compliments or validation, it’s a sign that your self-worth is heavily dependent on external sources. Channel your inner Tony Robbins and remember, "You don’t need anyone’s approval but your own."
8. You Avoid Saying "No" Like the Plague
Saying "no" feels like the end of the world. But constantly avoiding it to keep others happy will only lead to burnout. Embrace the power of "no" – it's a complete sentence, after all.
9. Your Mood Hinges on Other People’s Reactions
If your happiness fluctuates based on how others react to you, it's a surefire sign. Your mood should not be a hostage to someone else's whims. Start prioritizing your own feelings.
10. Compliments Make You Uncomfortable
When someone gives you a compliment and your first instinct is to downplay it or deflect, it shows an inability to accept positive feedback. Own your awesomeness every now and then – you deserve it!
11. You’re Eager to Please, Even at Your Own Expense
Whether it's agreeing to take on extra work or doing favors you don’t have time for, if you're constantly putting others before your needs, it’s more than just being nice; it's self-sabotage.
12. You Change Yourself to Fit In
Constantly modifying your opinions, behaviors, or appearance to be accepted in different social circles is a hallmark people-pleaser move. Authenticity should never be compromised for acceptance.
13. You Bottle Up Your Emotions
Like a volcano waiting to erupt, bottling up your feelings to avoid rocking the boat can lead to emotional exhaustion. It's okay to express yourself – your feelings are valid and deserve to be heard.
14. You Have Trouble Making Decisions
Decision-making can be paralyzing when you're overly concerned about making everyone else happy with the outcome. Trust your gut; it knows you best.
15. You Feel Guilty About Putting Yourself First
Finally, if putting yourself first feels like a violation of some unspoken rule, you're deep into people-pleasing territory. Self-care isn't selfish; it's necessary. After all, you can't pour from an empty cup.
So, how many of these signs did you nod along with? It's okay if it was more than a few – acknowledging it is the first step toward change. Which one of these resonated with you the most? Let's hear it in the comments!
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